Confused

Each day back home was predictable for the most part; nothing ever really happened that wasn't expected. That was before college...Now everyday is something different and it is excited yet horrifying. The unexpected usually happens in the evening/night. Friday night I went and got ice cream with Jodi and we were both upset but we went and wandered the dorms and found some people to hang out with which was fun. Last night I flipped out after my friend's suitemate had been smoking pot and the smell made me sick so i left. She was very upset and i feel bad but i can't be a bit difficult sometimes. You have to understand that I just needed to be in my room where i was comfortable and could process this new piece of information. I knew people smoked pot and it never bothered me but suddenly with the smell i longed for a cologne or a familiar smell so i went back to my room. my friend didnt understand and was very upset but i could not stay there. She probably hates her suitemate because of what it made me do but things just worked out like that and nothing will always be perfect.
I did what i had to do to feel alright and that's all i can say. If i hurt Taylor's feelings, then im sorry but I can't guarantee that i won't do this again. I flip out for what most people would call unnecesary reasons but to me are very big deals. I don't have many close friends for this very reason...they get tired of my 'antics' and become my friends but dont ever get close to me because they are tired of dealing with me. I have a very patient sister and right now i have a very patient roommate named Jodi who is not hurt by me because she knows what im going through or at least knows that i can't just brush this off like other people can.
Today i'm going to church where there are families that will make me jealous of mine that i can't see but it's alright because He is looking out for me and will protect me....Thank you Lord